Gone East

Okay, i'm confused. Everyone was in on the agreement to dump Richazrd. The vote was unanimous against him. The 3 women pretending to form an alliance was all something to keep him distracted, keep him off balance. Colby, the other dude and my all time favorite hottie Ethan knew about the women faking out Richard. It was all one big sham that they pulled off.

But there were conversations that suggested the sham was not a sham but real that occurred when Richard was not around. Which means the group, including the women -- especially the women -- were fooling the camerapersons and producers? Could that be? How did those scenes occur if all the women ended up voting off Richard.

I am confused.
I'll now go get the EW-like column and hope that some explanation is there.

It seemed to me that there really was some genuine exploration of a dump-Colby strategy. And that the editors may have made it look like more than it really was, in order to keep the outcome from being too obvious.

By the way, what ever happened between Naked Richard and I Don't Care If She's Married She Is So Definitely A Dyke Sue -- i think it's coming back next week. Previews show a ballistic lesbian yelling at a stunned host about how she was humiliated. I suspect that comes from whatever happened. Maybe he was wagging it back and forth at her.

I'm glad he's gone. He was lucky to be on the first Survivor because I don't think he would have won future ones as people figured out that strategy was necessary. He was lucky that no one had any prior knowledge of the game when he played. I'd be hard pressed to say who's more annoying: Richard or the skinny geek from Rupert's season.

I am not going to post anymore of Dalton Ross' material that should have been paid for if we're going to post it here and don't worry Jack, we'll be there for you and visit you in jail if he doesn't stop actively suggesting that Ethan should be voted off soon. Not Ethan!!!!

I hate people who say ''I told you so.'' Which must mean there's a sale on self-loathing this week, because I FREAKIN' TOLD YOU SO!!! I'm referring, of course, to Boston Rob's body slam of Ethan in the immunity challenge. I've been saying for weeks how much B.R. hated Ethan. Maybe it's because they both came from the Boston area. Maybe it's because Ethan made time with Rob's new girl, Amber. Or maybe it's because the so-called ''pretty boy'' won a million bucks while B.R. didn't even crack the jury.
For whatever reason, it was plainly obvious before the show, with Rob telling me that ''Ethan spends so much time in front of a mirror he should be in a f---ing VO5 commercial'' (among other things), and plainly obvious during it when he would continually mouth off to him or stare him down during challenges. Well, anyway, he BRUTALIZED Ethan by tossing him off that plank on the ''Battle Bridge.''
Now, I have to crow about this for the simple reason that anyone that follows these columns knows that I am the WORST ''Survivor'' prognosticator in the world. I never get to say I told you so, because, well, I'm never right. I mean, it's almost comical. Take Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004, for example. Approximately 12 hours before ''Survivor'' hit the air, I was chatting about the upcoming episode with host Harry Smith on ''The Early Show.'' (At least I think I was. He called me ''Rob'' at one point during the interview, so maybe it wasn't me after all.)
Anyway, at one point ol' Harry asked me who I thought was playing the game well. I had 14 contestants to choose from. So who did I pick? Who do you THINK I picked? Richard FREAKIN' Hatch. Hey, the whole naked fat gay guy thing has made him a comical character, and his fellow tribemates don't even seem to view him as a threat anymore, I said. Hey, he's catching fish, I said. Hey, I'm an idiot, I said. Well, I didn't say that last one, but I might as well have.
But this is why this episode was so great, finally delivering that ultimate drama we've been craving since the season began. I mean, can you remember ever being so tense watching a Tribal Council this early in the game? Colby versus Richard -- perhaps the two heaviest ''Survivor'' hitters of all-time. Throw in the fact that Ethan's head was on the block for a while too, and you basically had the three men that ruled the first three seasons all fighting for their lives. Good, good stuff. But let me say this strategy-wise. It was a dumb move by Colby to change course and send Hatch packing. You vote the two new members out and maintain (original) Mogo Mogo unity. Now, it's liable to be anarchy.
And why would Colby want Ethan around instead of Richard when Mr. Curly Locks' best friend is Lex! HELLO!?! Now, nobody trusts anybody, and by initiating this decision by himself, Colby has just set himself up as a target. Not smart. Plus, Richard's been catching their meals and doing great in the challenges. What have Ethan and Jerri contributed in those regards? I know they all deep down wanted to get rid of Hatch, but now was not the time… either for them or us.
As much as WE also kinda hated him, homeboy was entertaining. The shark incident? C'mon, give the guy his props. The game just won't be as fun (or as naked) without him. (By the way, I don't know WHAT the hell was going on in that challenge with Richard, Sue, and Kathy. Were they riding the threeway freeway there? That was mildly disturbing.)
The one thing I DID get right on ''The Early Show,'' was that Rob is ruling this game. He dominated the challenge and seems in total control of his tribe. (Well, in control maybe of everyone but Sue. That woman is PERMANENTLY out of control, as we saw in promos for next week's episode.) It will be really interesting to see how Rupert and Rob coexist. Those are two big personalities, ladies and gentlemen.
As for the Saboga tribe dissolution as a whole. I thought it was the right move at the right time for the show. For one thing, Saboga sucked. They just were bordering on pathetic. And we never got to see any good drama at Mogo Mogo, because they never had to worry about voting anyone out. Now with two tribes, the action is sure to get hotter and heavier. And yet with Richard Hatch gone, a little lighter at the same time.

I have a 20 dollar bill with your name on it if you can correctly diagram the first sentence of that last post.

Well I have to say...as much as I liked Richard's antics and comments...I'm glad he's gone...he was just getting to obnoxious and offensive with his nudity...I mean it's not like he was getting naked and had a bod like...say...Colby. And that's another thing...Jerri, how can you possibly wish gorgeous Colby any ill will.

Finally just watched the most recent Survivor and read the notes and comments. Hey, Sherman are you talking about diagramming your run-on sentence up there? Hmm... that job might be worth more than a 20.

Wow! Richard's outta there! Not sure how smart it was at this stage, but it was an entertaining episode. Richard makes for fun TV, but his cockiness (no pun, really) was just irritating. I agree that he acts like he invented the game, being the first to start an alliance, when all that stuff was completely inevitable.

I think I know what was going on with the "Richard, Sue and Kathy thing" during the challenge. Richard was naked (of course!) and was trying to be intimidating as always, so Sue and Kathy challenged him on it and went right up to him to say "you won't intimidate us" and took it a bit too far with the simulations and Jeff got fed up with it and put a stop to it.

Did ya notice the preshow advisory about the show not being appropriate for younger viewers? That was either for that Richard, Sue and Kathy thing that they blurred out or just a general warning about Richard's blurred out nakedness! Another fallout from the Janet Jackson incident, I suspect! Geesh. I saw Jeff Probst on Ellen DeGeneres after Super Bowl Sunday and he mentioned that the next episodes would have a much bigger blur around Richard! Guess they won't have to worry about that anymore...

I think the preview of the next show with Sue going ballistic is a whole new incident. Sue is one wacko chick! And Sherm, I'm with ya and your gaydar on her! Come on!

Jack, I agree with you about Tom and his love affair with the bottle. Man, he is one stereotypical hillbilly kind of a drunk. A little too much "Deliverance" goin' on there! Is there a way to warn them all to run if they hear the sound of banjos in the distance?

One prediction I have, the winner will be someone totally under the radar to win this time... maybe Shii Ann. Just a thought.

I also noticed the advisory, and thought it might have to do with what went on between Richard, Sue and Kathy. It couldn't have been cause of Richards nakedness cause he's been naked on every single episode. I'm thinking it has more to do with this whole "five second delay" censorship thing going on.

My question about the "Jeff gets really annoyed by the Hatch/Kathy/Sue foolishness" is, why did they even leave it in? It really wasn't all that interesting, and it may have been the thing that triggered the warning at the top of the show. So why not just cut it out?

I think the best guess is what Sherm said, that it is the setup for Sue's blowup next week.

Hmm... Jack, ya really think the preview of this week's blowout was from that last episode's scene? Maybe, but I'd put my money on it being something new... Sue is known for flipping out, afterall!

Beth, I think you're right that the parental advisory notice was because of that Richard, Sue and Kathy scene. But since the Janet Jackson incident, things have been slowly escalating. The censors have gotten more and more extreme as time has gone on, I'm sure it will dissipate after awhile, but right now it's at it's craziest! They could put the notice up for Richard's nakedness now, even though they wouldn't have before, just like how the blur got bigger. But that other incident would have been more cause for the censors, I'm sure.

Looking forward to this week's Wacky Sue adventures!

I'll take that question, Jack. You just take it easy and rest from your hard day of work and...oh, that's right. I'll take it anyway.

The preview of the scene with Sue blowing up is not FROM the skinny boards over water challenge. The blow up will be the result of whatever exchange went on between the naked homo (how do you fit three homos on a bar stool?) and the closet bull-dyke (A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?") on the board. Again, i suspect he did something with his wee-wee (why is piss yellow and cum white?) like he shook it all around so she'd have to bump into it to get by him or something. And i think what is typical in that situation, is that people get embarassed and then later after the fact, they get mad and angry about what happened. I think the scene is gonna be that Sue decides to call out JeffP for not doing something about that, other than be annoyed with is typical of him when nudity is displayed -- remember his annoyance when the 3 guys all dropped trou when Osten couldn't keep his boxer briefs up during a challenge?

1. turn it upside down
2. I have a woman in twice a week.
3. so guys from new hampshire can know if they're coming or going.

Okay Sherman--thanks for the detailed answer. You may be right. (I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.) At any rate, I need to take a shower now.

So, we'll see in just a couple days what Sue was flipping out over. Maybe so, maybe not.

By the way, I love the new "The Answer Man" segment to the show!!