Gone East

Bad taste?
Did somebody say bad taste?

It goes without saying that a priest joke during Lent is extremely bad taste. It also goes without saying that a MOM ALERT is required here...

So Father Porter is in the confessional and he's got two more hours to go but he has to take a wicked piss, and no one seems to be waiting so he sneaks open the confessional door and sure enought the church is empty except for a bunch of altar boys in one corner and a janitor cleaning up in the pews. So Father Porter goes PSSSST and gets the attention of the janitor who comes over to the confessional. "Look", says the priest, "I gotta take a wicked piss, so just sit here and cover for me, okay?" "But Father, how will I handle it if someone comes for confession" and the priest shows him this list of sins and their punishments. "Just give them the right pennance for each sin and you'll be fine" and he goes off to take his wicked piss leaving the janitor inside the confessional. And sure enough, a guy enters the booth and starts: "Bless me Father for I have sinned." And the janitor plays along and says "Tell me your sins". "Oh Father, it's sooo bad. I've been cheating on my wife." And the janitor looks at the list and finds WIFE CHEATING and beside the sin it says "3 Hail Mary's", so the janitor makes a note of that. "Any more sins to report, my son?" says the janitor. "Oh Father, it gets worse. I did it with my whore in my wife's bed." And the janitor looks at the list, finds DOING IT WITH WHORE ON WIFE'S BED and sees that the pennance is 4 Hail Mary's, so that's 7 so far, and then the guy says "Oh Father -- it's even worse. I did her doggie style, father -- up the butt!" So the janitor looks and looks on the list but there's no listing for butt fucking or anal sex or anything like that, and he doesn't know what to do. "God commands you to cover your ears and pray silently for two minutes" the janitor says to the guy, and then he sneaks out of the confessional and goes out to look for the priest, but the priest is nowhere in sight and the janitor doesn't know what to do since he has to give the guy the right pennance for the sin, so in desperation he goes up to the group of altar boys and whispers, "Hey, do any of you know what Father gives for anal sex?" and the altar boys shuffle their feet and look hesitatingly at each other until one finally pipes up and says "I don't know about them, but he gives me milk and cookies."

Ba da boom!

So Father Porter